Is it a crime to feel idle? to stay “free” for a while in today’s society?
Well it seems to be so when people around walk with lightning speed and talk as fast as a fast-forwarded movie and eat like they gonna die the next minute and do things the way the Flash does and say ‘Hi’ and wave hand in just one millisecond and pass you like the little Tasmanian devil in Disney and type and write and read and :-0 (take a breathe)…. Phew, how’s it? If you can read that sentence without catching a breathe, I must say you will do fine over here. You see, even in writing a decent paragraph, I can’t just think about it properly and know where to put comma, full stop, semi colon for the sake of you readers.
But what i am complaining about anyway? I’m in one of the safest countries in the world (if not the most). I study in an internationally recognized university and I’m not even facing financial problems despite my being away from home. Hmmm, I guess I need time to… think. Well, you may ask “isn’t it that people think all the time? does the brain not work till you are dead?”
That fulfilling feeling can’t be felt anywhere, anytime when you don’t have the purpose, the goal of doing what you do. All i have been doing are catching up with lectures, finishing assignments and projects. It’s a cycle, somewhat menacing, that wraps the tiny string of fulfillment till there’s hardly any part left uncovered.
Yet I, as a lab mouse, still, most of the time, say to myself and to others that I’m actually enjoying my present state of life. Even my laughter is just as plain and my sayings are shallow. Why am i as a human being content with this? A materialistic person i have grown to be? Or i’m just simply indifferent as i have grown up without anyone actually trying long enough to care for my emotion? Or i’m only being selfish and disdainful?
Whichever the reason is, i’ll try my best to escape that.